dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
