I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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