Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
its liver damage thursday
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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