I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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