I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
