I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize