I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
