dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
