You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
