either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We don't watch enough power rangers
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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