She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
