maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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