I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
