That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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