I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Randomize
