is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
