You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
