Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize