I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
