Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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