you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
