you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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