WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
