i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
