well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
