Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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