Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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