well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
