I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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