You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
