we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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