things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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