I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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