don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
