Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
