Me too!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
