I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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