I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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