He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
