Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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