hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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