google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
