dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
