we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Houston, we have a blender
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
