I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
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