I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
