Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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