dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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