Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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