I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize