...so i touched it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
