i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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