Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
