i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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