I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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